Session 8: A note of appreciation

Today we were given a slip called "A note of appreciation". We were supposed to appreciate a person (in writing or in person) and tell him/her that we appreciate him/her. Well, the person I appreciate a lot was my dad. I wrote in my letter:

"Dear Dad,

I thank you for all the sacrifices that you and mom made for me throughout the years. You are the best dad a son can ever hope to have. More than that, you have been a true friend and a fabulous guide.

Varun.

P.S. Don't take it too personally, it's just an exercise."

Needless to say, I didn't tell it to my dad because he doesn't appreciate much of the mushy stuff anyways. The last time I got inspired like this, I happened to bend over and tough his feet in  respect, and he was pretty disappointed at me saying that it was not right of me to do that. So not even DC can make me do what my dad surely doesn't want me to do. He is my dad and he knows it more than me how much I appreciate him.

Another exercise was a good one as it made me realize that we can see even positivity inside negativity. Now, DC told us to write "5 positive qualities" that describe us as a person. I had to think hard for this one and managed to come up with 5 qualities. Then he told us to write exactly the opposite quality table i.e. write down the opposites to the 5 qualities that you mentioned just now. So my table looked like this:

Positive Qualities Negative Qualities

Truthful Liar

Punctual Laidback

Stickler to details Careless about details

Carefree Too careful

Observant/Seeks knowledge Ignorant

Now, we were asked to write down 2 statements that would put the negative quality mentioned in a positive light. Now that was hard to do, but I managed this:

1. When I lie, I have the other person's good/welfare/well-being in my mind.
2. When I am ignorant, my mind is calm, stress-free and it helps me learn much better.

This helped me realize two things. First, the good qualities that describe me as a person are not always true. When I do something that is exactly opposite to what I am defined as, I am still doing it because there is something good about it also. I am always positive; although it may seem to be that I am negative. However, that is just a minor realization.

Second, I saw that you can see goodness in anything and everything. This is something that I have always followed in most of the cases - Goodness is inherent. When people see the bad side of things, I see the good side of it too. Of course, it may not always be ethical. For example, when people criticize the Nazi regime, I used to see it as the age that redefined world politics. The war, which would have not been possible had Hitler not risen to power, made it possible for us, the Indians, to get independence early because the British were depleted of many resources! I am not defending Hitler. The man was a tyrant, but he also showed the world that a small country, when humiliated (Germany was humiliated post WW-1) can still rise to power and challenge the so-called superpowers. Hitler was a mass-murderer. But he was also a leader.

DC also reiterated the difference between "role and self". There is always a interrelationship between them, but essentially there us a difference. And we have to understand that.